The story we tell ourselves about someone usually comes from our own minds. The assumptions we make often do as well. They may not reflect who that person truly is. Sometimes we start with a generous narrative. Other times, we’re too naive to see the narrative they’ve been painting all along. But where do we learn to tell the difference? How do we understand these things for the sake of better relationships?

Our ego steps in with its rules: don’t confess first, let them come to you, don’t always be the one who tries. Meanwhile, their timeline for effort may look different from ours. And just because you arrive at a feeling or a decision doesn’t mean the other person must arrive at the same moment.

People have their own pace and their own approach. As long as they’re not disinterested, it’s okay to respect that pace and be patient. In the end, it’s more about the process than about whether the story has a perfect ending.