Touching someone’s life, especially someone who is naive and untouched, can cost them far more than it costs us. They may gain an experience, yes, but if we don’t handle them with care, we might leave behind a hurt that stays.
People who carry gentleness and kindness aren’t meant to be damaged. They are rare.
The abundance that one can hold—regardless of their role or significance in someone else’s life—has no limits. You can find abundance everywhere, even in a person. I found mine in my mother. She holds my entire world so completely that it becomes difficult for others to find space within that abundance. It is both fortunate and unfortunate at the same time. Fortunate, because I am blessed with such loving parents; unfortunate, because it makes it harder for any newcomer to survive my constant mental comparisons.
Loving someone for 29 years and unconsciously expecting something equally profound from a man you’ve known for just a year or two is its own kind of cruelty—especially towards him. In those moments, we become helpless, demanding, overwhelming, and unknowingly burdensome. We ask too much, too soon, forgetting that some bonds grow over decades, and others need time, patience, and space to breathe.
We often create stories or assumptions about others. These stories come more from our own minds than from who they truly are. Sometimes we begin with a generous narrative. Other times, we are too naïve to see the narrative they have been painting all along. But where do we learn to tell the difference? How do we understand these things for the sake of better relationships?
Our ego steps in with its rules: don’t confess first, let them come to you, don’t always be the one who tries. Meanwhile, their timeline for effort may look different from ours. And just because you arrive at a feeling or a decision doesn’t mean the other person must arrive at the same moment.
People have their own pace and their own approach. As long as they’re not disinterested, it’s okay to respect that pace and be patient. In the end, it’s more about the process than about whether the story has a perfect ending.