My dream is not to dream at all. Those little things thats part of our sleep are a menace, complicating everything and disturbing the most peaceful time of your day and life.
Category: Uncategorized
-
The days have come to a halt. A screeching brake suddenly.
I see only the end of the tunnel, I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Life feels purposeless.
-
The life that you want is not what others want for you and what other want for you is not what you want. But why is ‘the others’ opinion and wants’ still valid in your life in the first place, because ‘the others’ here include your close ones, so their opinions and expectations of how your life should be or how you should lead your life is weighing on your shoulders which you never intended to carry.
The weight is dragging you down and down and down without letting you up to the surface, aren’t they meant to be the boat or the light house, when did they become the weight tied around you, dragging you down ?
Is it because they are no longer aligned with your likes and dislikes? Did they become a weight rather than a light just because they are not in support of your thoughts and views?
You never wanted to be in this situation, at this position, where its really hard for you to think anything good about life and peopleas a whole. Life is never easier, its just hard as you keep moving forward, through everything.
What do you choose atlast, you or the others ?
Or will you be happy with just giving up on you and going with the wishes of others ?
You really can’t find the balance between these two, there is no grey area, just black and white, this or that, you or them, no inbetween.
-
I can’t stay angry on him, how can I with the hearts he gives virtually for my annoyed messages. I know its a very tiny tiny thing and not much of deal to be happy about. But still i like even those little miniscule things, silly me going nuts.
I wonder is it his way of expressing his liking ? Still wondering whether he likes me at all in the first place and keep feeling insecure regarding our budding relationship. I can’t voice out these to him. Because I don’t wanna come out as being too much of dramatic type in his perspective. All I can do is let it be my silent worries which never goes away and silent.
-
Everyone are not the same. Each one of us is different in teeny or huge ways. Even sons and daughters out of the same womb aren’t. They aren’t even same like their parents. So I won’t be like him too. I was afraid of being like him. But I m not him. I am me and we are both separate humans. I ll use my power and my efforts to UNDO what he did.
I ll keep reminding myself that we are not alike. That’s ll be my only drive.
-

The demons inside, the fears, anxiety which all I never knew they existed within me all these time are surfacing one by one. I suddenly feel cold and scared like never before. Everything and everyone around me seem like being part of a horror movie trying to haunt me down and ruin all that is mine. I never imagined I would be shit scared and feel hopeless like this ever. But all this is happening right now. I am searching for the strong, brave, bawse woman that I WAS.
‘WAS’ – it seems past already. Have I lost it totally, the inspiring, confident and strong version of me? Already? So soon?
How am I gonna wake up tomorrow and go further like this?
-
I usually would badly want to have a sound sleep while tired after my classes. But now I am trying to avoid sleeping, because its kind of haunting, the dreams, the bad memories crawling into my awake mind, silently, unannounced while I close my eyes.
Even now I really don’t wanna sleep or stay put on my bed but I don’t wanna disturb others’ circadian rhythm just because I hate mine. And above all I don’t wanna encounter his suspicious eyes or his most annoying pressumptions.
Creepy everywhere, everyone.
-

Für mich scheint dieses Zitat als ein Trostwort, obwohl Fehler natürlich und menschlich sind. Fehler hemmen meine Motivation und meinen Lernprozess. Nur Erfolg treibt mich weiter. Es gibt Fehler, die man nie wieder rückgängig machen könnte und die man wirklich brauchte. Meistens sind meine Fehler aus mangelndem Wissen oder mangelnder Reife yur Handlung entstanden. Ja natürlich schaden Fehler jedem, und wir verlieren manchmal mehr als erwartet. Ein kleiner Fehelr kann einen großen Verlust verursachen oder anders herum. Also man kann die Folgen von Fehlern nicht immer vorhersagen. Wir wissen es erst, wenn es passiert. Es gibt eine Menge Fehler, von denen ich wünschte, ich hätte sie nicht gemacht. Ich versuche daher, sie nicht wiederholen, wenn die Situation wieder sich ergibt. Aber ich ignoriere das Scheitern oder die Fehler nicht. Denn aus Ignoranz kann man nicht lernen.
-

Somedays its hard to be just ordinary. I wanna be an extraordinary version of me. Life seemed easy, boring and comfortable before this cycling pathogen infected me. Now that this microorganism has taken over my system, I wanna scale all the heights possible with the help of it. Even if that means end of something I have now or end of everything I enjoyed previously. I need to try this with all my might.
-
There was teacher I liked so much, but she had a very short span of life, not upto the usual life span humans have in general. She barely reached her 30s, then suddenly one day she was gone. Forever. Never coming back, leaving a person alone at her home. Her little son. How can one describe this, an unfortunate or fortunate life ?
Unfortunate because she wasn’t part of her life that she may have dreamt about and unfortunate because she missed all the years with her son who was the symbol of her love.
Or we can even see it the contradictory way, she was fortunate that she got to live short in this cruel world.I recall her everytime on this day, because it is her birthday. And every year I wish I could convey my wishes to her in person.